The reality of course, is that I have now got confirmation of the result from a couple of days ago. As anyone who has gone through this process knows, you fantasise over the possibility of being pregnant while you wait and you even subconsciously think about how far gone you’d be when you consider plans fixed in the diary for the coming year.

I guess deep down, I didn’t need a pregnancy test to confirm that things wouldn’t work out for us again. The clue was there when we got news that out of the 23 eggs we got from our donor, we only got 2 embryos suitable for transfer. The fact that these were only 6 cell and 7 cell also left me unconvinced that they would develop and implant inside of me.

Ever since we discovered that we would need assisted conception to start a family, my plan has been to persevere until I turned the age of 35 before we start considering other options. If I stick to my plan, this only really gives us time for one more attempt. The outcome of our overseas treatment has left me unconvinced that it would be worthwhile pursuing this option beyond that given that we got the same number of embryos to transfer as our attempt in the UK. Also, the quality of those embryos appeared inferior to those we had the first time round.

Despite the disppointment, part of me is relieved that I can stop the medication protocol that I have been following, and return to normality for a bit before we try treatment again.

The familiar feeling of loss and emptiness is here again. Let’s see what the stick has to say tomorrow.

Unfortunately for whatever reason although a lot of eggs were collected, it seems as though they were not all of good quality. I guess the first hint was that the nurse told us that the embryologist’s instincts were that we would be having a 3 day transfer rather than blastocyst – even though 23 eggs were collected.

After the 1st day, only 10 of 23 had fertilised and after the 2nd day, only 3 were left! Finally we had only 2 left by transfer time, and they don’t seem as if they are ideal.

On the plus side, they should be from a 20 year old donor, which should count for something. Also last time we had 2 eggs which were meant to be of very good quality, but from an older donor of 35 years. We’ll just have to wait, and hope that our dreams come true this time.

We didn’t really question any of the nurse or doctors more in detail about why the results weren’t as expected. Perhaps we will try to if it doesn’t work out and we have a follow up consultation.

I didn’t sleep well the previous night waking up several times, paranoid that I would sleep through the alarm and anxious that the next day would go well.

We arrived at the clinic half an hour before our appointment and at about the same time as the Consultant Nurse. We waited in reception while the Embryologist checked up on our 3 embryos. We were relieved to be told that 2 of these were suitable for transfer – one IVF embryo which had reached 6 cells with no fragmentation and one ICSI embryo which was 7 cells and had up to 20% fragmentation. I was expecting them to be at 8 cells by now but the Nurse Consultant assured us that everything was fine and that our embryos were just slow developers.

We were shown to a private room where I got changed into a robe. The Nurse Consultant said she would check that my bladder was full in about 15 minutes. It didn’t feel full yet so I quickly drank the rest of the 500ml bottle of water that I had been sipping during the taxi ride. The full bladder is so that the uterus can be seen on the ultrasound scan. Filling out the bladder straightens the uterus. This makes it easier to direct the catheter containing the embryos to a position where they have the highest chance of implantation.

The scan confirmed that I was ready to proceed. A nurse put a hair net on me while I sat in a wheelchair that was to transport me to the treatment room. The doctor came in soon after and shook my and my husband’s hand before getting on with proceedings.

During embryo transfer, a speculum (which is also used during a smear test) is placed in the vagina so that the doctor can see the cervix clearly. The outside of the cervix is cleaned and any mucus from inside the cervix is removed. The catheter holding the embryos is then inserted into the uterus where they are injected.

The discomfort from the speculum helped to distract me from my urge to wee while the nurse pressed the probe against my abdomen. We all watched the scanned image as the doctor inserted the catheter which transferred the 2 embryos into my uterus. The whole process lasted only a couple of minutes. The doctor said “Good Luck” (I thought he said “Good One”), shook our hands and then he was gone.

I was told to slide onto the hospital bed without lifting my head and to keep my legs bent. I was pushed back into our private room where I was to rest for 30 minutes in the same position. I was allowed to empty my bladder immediately after my embryo transfer in the UK. Now in Cyprus, if I needed to use the bathroom, I had to use a bedpan. I was desperate by that time and thought I could distract myself by reading for half an hour but gave in after just 5 minutes. I pressed the button to summon the nurse who brought me a bedpan.

Before we left the clinic, the Nurse Consultant provided us with information explaining next steps. My drug regimen stays the same with the exception of the Progestan which has been replaced with Cyclogest pessaries that I need to take 3 times daily.

I need to take two pregnancy tests – one in 12 days time and one 2 days later on the basis that the first test can give a false positive or a false negative.

After searching the Internet we found that there was a clinic abroad which could provide donors with no waiting list. We contacted them and started a plan that means we are now abroad for a combined holiday and donor egg transfer.

The missus has already updated with most of the detail that has happened so far.

It’s been quite a shock that we’ve been reduced to only 3 embryos from the 23 eggs collected. Perhaps the eggs were not of good quality?

Initially we had debated with the nurse there whether we were going to have a 3 day transfer or a 5 day blastocyst transfer. But with only 3 embryos there is no need to decide, the 3 day transfer is the only possibility.

We can only hope now that the remaining 3 embryos keeps growing well and that we can transfer 2 of them tomorrow.

I keep thinking that it only takes 1 embryo to make a baby. Hopefully everything will work out well, otherwise we will just have to deal with things as they happen.

Everyone including the medical team is surprised by the disappointing results. Only yesterday, we were hopeful of having spare embryos to freeze for use at a later date. With only 3 potential embryos, I am fearful of the prospect of none of them being good enough for transfer. I pray that fate be good to us this time round and bless us with 2 embryos we can implant with a third good enough to freeze.

On entry to the clinic, we were instructed to put on plastic covers over our shoes by sticking each foot in turn into a contraption which reminded me of what they used to measure children’s feet for school shoes.

We went through some forms with the Consultant Nurse which included consent forms and instructions for medication I needed to take prior to embryo transfer. Our donor had her egg collection earlier in the day so my husband needed to provide his sperm sample. He also needed to have a blood group test done at the lab a couple of doors down.

I was to stop my nasal spray and do the following:

1. Take one Baby Aspirin a day. The aspirin increases the blood supply to the uterus and counters the blood clotting properties of the Progynova I have been taking.

2. Continue to take one folic acid tablet a day.

3. Increase my daily dose of Progynova to 5 tablets and instead of spacing them out throughout the day, take them all in one go before I go to bed.

4. Take one Progestan three times a day (the tablets are small balls to be taken vaginally).

The clinic uses ICSI as their standard technique for fertilisation. In the UK, ICSI is used when there is an issue with the sperm quality and our first attempt with egg donation used IVF. After discussing this point, we agreed to use ICSI for 50% of the eggs collected and IVF for the other 50%. My instinct was that IVF was closest to what would happen naturally, ie the strongest and best quality sperm would reach and fertilise the egg. Therefore, IVF was my preferred method. However, part of me also worried whether our success would be compromised by going against what was standard practice at the clinic. The 50:50 approach seemed like a good compromise.

The Consultant Nurse would call us the next day to confirm the number of eggs fertilised and the likely date for my embryo transfer.

We are back on the waiting list for donor IVF treatment which has 7 couples ahead of us so realistically, we have to wait at least another year for another go in the UK. At our follow up consultation, the doctor mentioned a couple who were successful with treatment at a clinic in Cyprus. He was unable to provide us with the name of the clinic but we decided to do our own research when we got home.

The results of our research were encouraging – we found the website for a UK clinic which has a partnership with a clinic in Cyprus where they have been achieving more than 70% plus pregnancy rates and no waiting list. There were also lots of positive patient testimonials.

With nothing to lose, we arranged a free consultation with a UK doctor and UK Co-ordinator during which they explained how the process worked and the steps that we needed to take if we decided to proceed with treatment. They also answered all the questions that my husband and I had and by the end of the consultation, we felt reassured about the treatment that I would receive and the standards to which the clinic in Cyprus works.

First step was for us to complete a Donor Request form with my and my husband’s details: blood group, skin complexion, eye colour, hair colour, height and weight. This was forwarded to the Consultant Nurse in Cyprus (who was also British) so that she could match us with a donor. I was to let the Co-ordinator know when my period started so that she could put together a treatment plan and arrange delivery of the medication that I would need to take. I also needed to provide copies of our blood test results to the Doctor’s Secretary (Blood Groups, Hep B/C HIV and Syphilis for both of us and Rubella for me). I didn’t have a Syphilis blood test for my previous treatment cycles but I could have this done at the clinic when I went in for my first scan.

The donor details came through only a day after we completed our Donor Request form. The clinic in Cyprus provides a first choice donor and a reserve donor. Our first choice donor is 20 years old, 167cm in height and weighs 49kg. She goes to college where she is studying to become a beautician.

The treatment plan was that I start taking the nasal spray on Day 21 of my next cycle (one sniff in each nostril twice daily, once in the morning and once in the evening). My period should start about a week later. Two days before my first scan was due, my period still hadn’t started but I was told to go into the clinic anyway, just so that they could check what was happening.

To help induce a bleed, the doctor prescribed me Noresthisterone tablets. I was to take one tablet 3 times a day for 5 days. When I stop taking this medication, I should start bleeding. The Noresthisterone put me back on track but our treatment plan now needed to be revised with our travel to Cyprus being pushed back to a week later. We would need to be in Cyprus for 7 days excluding travel days. The UK Co-ordinator provided us with contact details of a lady who could book flights and accommodation for us. We booked our travel as soon as the Consultant Nurse in Cyprus confirmed the date for our donor’s egg collection and likely day for my embryo transfer.

I was to continue taking the nasal spray and start taking 4 Progynova tablets a day until we received further instructions from the Nurse Consultant in Cyprus. I would need to go in for another scan before we left for Cyprus just to check that my lining had developed enough. I had to take my Cyclogest pessaries with me to Cyprus so that I could start taking them when instructed to do so.

My embryo transfer is booked in for 12pm on Saturday. In the meantime, they will monitor the development of the embryos. By day 5 after egg collection (Monday), the embryos most likely to lead to a pregnancy will have become fluid filled balls of cells called blastocysts. Research has shown that pregnancy rates are improved where embryos are transferred at the blastocyst stage.

They will call me before 8am on Saturday to let me know if it is worthwhile waiting until Monday for embryo transfer. This will be the case where there is a large number of good quality embryos and it is difficult to select those with the most potential to implant. By leaving the embryos to develop for longer, the more viable embryos will become evident.